About

The Agile Astrologer is a weekly horoscope column for people who work in offices. It reads sprints, standups, reorgs, reply-all threads, and the client who doesn't know what he wants through the oldest predictive framework available, on the theory that it is not obviously worse than the ones already in use.

The astrology is real. Planetary positions are computed from an actual ephemeris — the same numbers a serious astrologer would use. Mercury really is retrograde when the column says so. Everything after that point is editorial.

The column takes no position on whether the planets influence your quarter. It observes only that something does, that nobody has satisfactorily identified it, and that Saturn is at least willing to go on the record.

New issues appear on Sundays, ahead of the week they describe. This is the one genuinely useful feature: the forecast arrives before the sprint does.

The Agile Astrologer is a work of satire. Nothing on this site is astrological, financial, medical, or career advice. Any resemblance to your actual sprint is coincidental, and also your problem.